SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE im BACK PPL!!!
damn its been a while...
and guess wha? HAZ IS BACK TOO!!! YAY!!! *sniff* im so happy...
happy bt THT newyz.
quiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz:
You scored as Ice. Something really bad must of happened to you. You find it hard to smile, and you wonder why everyone can be so happy. People fight for the dumbest reasons, because you've seen the worst. You put up a cold front, but you really just want to be loved. You try to hide your emotions, most likely crying in a pillow with the music blasting, or blowing out all your steam yelling at family members or writing in a diary. Life is hard, but the time will come when you'll find beauty in it. Wait for the shooting star, because it'll come someday I'm sure. Please Tell me what you think! Negative feedback VERY welcome! Tell me how to fix it! :)
made by mah bestie buddeh, ninsykins. i luvz it nina!!! XD
nothing much has happened lately. xept iv lost alot of weight because iv stopped eating much...i need a belt for these jeans geez...wher's haz's when i need one? >.> speakin of haz's belts I WANT HIM TO GO BACK HOME ALREADY!!! im suffocating!!! >< ami hasibke bhalobashi :D i likes sayin that X3
haz gave me the address to the hostel he stays at so that i can send him something for his birthday XD YAYS!!! ...if he's caught with a girl he could get into trouble...very strict dad...general in the army...he's proud of his dad and i gotta admit im proud of his dad too...but he's so strict! he cant have a gf until he's an adult...which means if his dad finds the things im sending him and figures out wuts going on between us then he's DEAD!!! omg...i shouldnt be sending him stuff...he'll be caught for sure! generals in the army just dont miss those kinds of things!!! >< if only his dad wer like mine: laid back and carefree. then i'd be happier^^
but...its only small crap like drawings im sending him and stuff...kind of lame really...he wanted to send me a whole bunch of stuff <.<; i wudnt let him send most of the stuff he wanted to send...>.> it was too much...plus, the next time i send him something i'll feel bad because its nowhere near as good as what he sends me -.- if he sends me something that i wanted him not to send me i'll send it back...and make him get a refund for it ><
im dying of BOREDOM HERE! o well. i'll just go watch austin powers goldmember after writing this XD funny shit.
im starting to talk to hasib's best friend pavel a bit more now...im learning more about them both. pavel seems to be really into sports...im not sure about haz though...he doesnt look like a sportsy guy from what iv seen lol...skinny twig X3
oooooo i FINALLY met ariana! one of nina's friends at school she met on the net who turned out to be just like us^^ apparently im her lover too XD (keep in mind that i am officially female...-.-)
anyways, i gots a new youtube account name: icedragon66, and uploaded my new amv onto it^^ its a faster version of another amv. it was too slow for my liking so i decided to make my own XD
other than that nothings really happening with me...apart from the fact that im dying of boredom and SO wishin yegor, nina or haz at the least is on...
What I have learnt today: ...there are actually people in this world who love me. I know..I did learn this ages ago...but its only just starting to sink in now.
*sigh* all im doing right now is sitting here wishing haz was on...
and pondering over how stupid i was to have sent soujiro those YIM messages...thats right. i got so pissed last night...soujiro hadn't been online in a while. and nina was worried sick over him. she told me that hikari told her that he was dead.
then hikari tells nina over YIM that she went over to souji's house and found him cut and bleeding. a LOT. according to hikari he just said "cheat" and collapsed. SO nina's worried sick again...
theeeeeeeeen souji suddenly comes online and is super duper mad with nina. he calls her a liar and wont tell her why. that just made me snap. nina ISNT a liar. how dare he start yelling at nina like this after she'd been worried sick about him all day??? im aware that it was just his bad side coming out again, but still. i was literally shaking i was that pissed. so i instant messaged him saying that she isnt a liar and that no thanks to him nina was concidering breaking her promise and hurting herself again.
then nina told me not to be mad at him because he was close to breaking point. thats about where i started to regret it. what if sou decides to hurt himself that badly again? i'd have caused harm to a friend rather than helped. my other side coming out like that at souji for a 'good cause' is no excuse for my behaviour. i could have stopped myself from pressing enter on my keyboard.
anyway...im still trying to find the hospitle where anne's staying in...could somebody PLEASE correct the word hospatle for me!!! its just BUGGIN me!
What I have learnt: Don't do something temper-driven because you might just do something you greatly regret.
GRRRRRRRR!!! that fucking bitch hikari is STILL making her pathetic little attempts to break up nina and SOUJIRO!!! and we all know that i dont like it when people mess with my friends. so...souji hasnt been online in a while, nina's freakin out and WHAT does hikari do? SHE TELLS NINA THAT HE'S DEAD!!!
FAT
BLOODY
CHANCE.
all that was wrong was that he had a broken leg and he had to get an operation on his ear in kyoto. SO...naturally...knowing me, i got pissed. cos i dont have to take this shit being piled on a friend who already has enough shit goin on anyways now do i? SO, i asked nina for hikari's email and sent her this:
"YOU FUCKING SKANK BITCH LEAVE MY FRIEND AND SOUJIRO ALONE EVERYBODY KNOWS (everybody within my range of contacts anyway) THAT SOUJIRO IS COMPLETELY DEVOTED TO NINA AND NOBODY ELSE!!! GEEZ U COULD AT LEAST HAVE THE DECENCY TO SHOW A LITTLE DIGNITY AND RESPECT BY NOT PEEKING ON SOUJI IN THE SHOWER FOR FUCK SAKE!!! SO UNLESS YOU WANT MORE OF AN ASS WHOOPING GO FIND SOME OTHER PAIR TO BREAK UP COS IM NOT GUNA SIT BY HERE AND WATCH YOU KEEP HUMILIATING YOURSELF BY DOING SOMETHING AS PATHETIC AS LYING TO NINA TELLING HER THAT SOUJIRO'S DEAD BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT? ITS IMPOSSIBLE FOR SOUJI TO DIE FORM SOMETHING LIKE A BROKEN LEG AND HAVING AN OPERATION ON HIS EAR BECAUSE LIKE HE TOLD ME, THE JAPANESE DOCS R THE BEST AROUND!!!
later"
oh the kind, caring and understanding ways of me...and guess what? nina LOVED IT! haha! that BITCH just wants nina to give up on soujiro! like thats ever going to happen! i know nina, trust meh. shes just like me, a vulcanoe would errupt here in australia before nina gave up on anything. now, knowing u soujiro u wont b pleased with me but please understand that i was defending nina's honor *puffs out chest dramatically* plus its a little too late to reverse sending it...hehe.
onto a diff story...another one of my friends called brianda is starting to cut herself too...cos her bf mite b cheating on her accordin to her cousin. and thats just so not cool! one stinkin boy isnt worth the pain and sufferin of one of my friends and it never will be! at least after a little talk she told me that i lit up her day :) im just special^^
*sigh* i tried calling my friend anne's parents to find out which hospatle shes in and was quite unsucessful. they werent at home... if i didnt say anything about it in my other posts, anne, one of my closer than close schoolyard chums was hit by a car round like last monday...according to another friend, ash, she was steppin out of her car or something and some dude hit her. i hope that guy or chick burns in hell. somethings wrong with her spine and she has some memory loss, and shes already suffering with being called 'cripple' because of a ski accident up at mt. buller. btw: i was there when that happened. yizza. *nods* oh, and a prob from when she was little bein dragged by a bus i cant remember how many miles. the door shut on her leg...she was like three or six...*sigh* i can almost feel the trauma... she doesnt need this shit as well.
What I learnt today: I can be more of an irrashonal bitch than I realised...
thats all for today pplz, this is my latest amv with the song dirty little secret by the all american rejects. i worked on this one for AGES tryin to get it as good as possible but theres still a couple of scenes i dont like. i recon i worked on it so hard i ruined it...-.-; well...enjoy
*sigh* hasib's leaving for a place called Dhaka for a school thing...and it's going to be for 1 month and 20 days...*cries* WHY? i hav so much fun talking to him...i dont know why but i just do. oh, btw pplz, just so u kno, Dhaka is like the main city in Bangladesh or something...i cant really remember wut hasib told me...
i just found out that my friend nina isn't eating much...but then again i suppose thats my problem...im not eating as often as i should be iether. i WAS, dont get me wrong. i used to have a good appetite. but nowadays im just gettin sick in the mornin and even tho i'd prolly like to, i cant eat. eh...who cares if i become super skinny? at least the problem isnt ever going to get as bad as drinking a milkshake and then suddenly hyperventalating because i think im guna die (i watched an ep of oprah and it happened to this anarexic chick...). speakin of nina DAMN i wish she was online cos ima bored SHITLESS!!!
o, and that sick kid off youtube who's username is girlxtreme1 commented on my channel with that exact same FUCKING message AGAIN!!! oh and surprise surprise, it was posted just as totoremin1 was getting offline. i was SO going to comment on her channel with this message:
"LOOK weasel PISS OFF!!! i dont kno hu u r but if u EVER leave another comment like THAT on my channel EVER again it'll be the last fucking thing you ever DO! and TRUST me on this one if you turn out to be some sick pedo dont expect to get away with comin after me cos IM NEVER ALONE and NOT AFRAID to kick your ASS!! my uncle's a cop AND i do karate classes! so take my advice and leave me AND my friends ALONE unless you want one hell of an ass whoopin!!"
and like, i mean, i'd actually gone to her channel and typed it ALL out and was so like II << THAT close to actually pressin the 'submit comment' button. but then i figured it was a bit too intense. so i went for something more...'toned down' if you could call it that:
"dude hu the hell do u think u r? why the hell are you bugging all of my friends with these comments? dude if ur that desperate for help then go to a friggin DOCTOR for fuck sake dont go buggin everybody on a site meant for people to have FUN on. besides, (lol) if u reli R a 13 yr old girl askin evrybody on youtube these q's (which i SO doubt lmfao) u only need to ask like ONE person."
but then again...i thought that might be too much as well. so i just went for the good old aussie way:
"FUCK OFF"
i know. i can have one seriously bitchy hard core badass attitude when i want to.
:)
nina's bf soujiro told me that he was a multi-pole person after he told me that he felt like a completely different person inside at one stage, and then i told him i'v felt that exact same way before (multi-pole people have like more than two personalities, bi-pole are people with two persona's). im startin to think i might be a multi-pole person too. i mean, i can have some seriously emo-ish moments, and then i have a softie side...then i have a really aggressive and abusive side. i can almost feel their differences inside me. like...im empty inside and their just...standing or sitting around in this black room. i know it sounds deep, but if i picture it, i can see one emo in black cargo pants (emo girls do NOT FUCKING WEAR TIGHT PANTS!!! ther transvestites for FUCK sake everybody!!!) and black converse and the black and white stripey top with the black hoodie vest nd straightened hair with a black stripe through her fringe sitting on a cardboard box casually (descriptive i kno, but i can c her the clearest). then i see this other redheaded chick standin around whos wearin a green top nd jeans nd just has this sweet look. then...i cant picture anything else. the other sides are sort of...fogged out by black.
its really really deep and weird to be talking about this sort of thing, i know. but its nice to let things off your chest, one way or another. even if it is just talking to a live journal unaware if people are actually reading your thoughts.
What I have learnt today: Strangely...nothing.
well, thats all i have to say right now. ciao guys! enjoy today's e-cards!! (btw, missin ya haz v.v)
sooooooooo thers this dude on youtube...totoremin1...he started talkin to me out of nowhere a few days ago...commentin on my youtube channel etc etc. i wus talkin to has on msn and totoremin1 on youtube...then this OTHER random user comments on my page askin me all these sick q's about girls panties nd shit!!! i copied and pasted the damn comment on my last post for those who wish to read...anyways, i complained to haz on msn nd said 'i'll bet u ten bucks its totoremin1 just usin a diff user to get to all the girls he's interested in' ok not in those exact words but i did my best...the conversation history thingy was full and had to be cleared out...-.- so ANYWAYS, we started talkin abt this dude and all the links he has to being a pedophile and bein that sick as 'girlxtreme' chick hu commented on my channel a while back. FIRST OFF: most of the users he'd contacted have been female users, secondly, he'd told another user he was a 15 yr old while he'd told me that he was a 21 yr old from colledge, thirdly, he seems way too intense on leading me into thinkin that he 'luvs me like a sister' and don't make me keep goin on about him cos it'll just go on...and on...and on...and...jebus...
okez..nuthin much happenin todayz...xept this LOSER i know online who also lives where i live started going 'sorry u screwed ur rents' and i was so PISSED when i read that! but i was all calm in the beginning then he kept going (i think he was on crack) and i finally LOST IT!!!
YOU
JUST
DONT
OFFEND
ME
ONLINE
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it just doesnt HAPPEN!!! ...unless your up for a good ass whoopin anyways... SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO anyways, i was all 'LOOK ASSHOLE, MY FRIEND HAS JUST DIED SO OBVIOUSLY IM SO NOT IN THE MOOD FOR YOU, I DONT HAVE TO TAKE THIS SHIT FROM ANYONE, ESPECIALLY YOU AND IM NOT GUNNA!!!' and so on and so forth...and then i blocked him before he could reply with some other shit he came up with wit his marijuana filled head... then somebody else added me...i was presumin it was one of the lil friends of his he told abt my lil bitchy self. so this dude nd i started talkin nd then he asked 'wher ya live?' so i blocked him...XD DUMASSES!!! they'll NEVER find me!!! MUAHAHAHAHA XP
anyway, nuthin much else happening...talking to haz, pabs, miranda on msn and replying to a bunch of mail and comments on youtube im getting...and SPREKINZ OF ZE YOUTUBE.COM i just gots the most disturbing comment from some chick!!! just read:
hi, how are you? i'm a girl and i'm 13 the name's flora. i'm pretty hyperactive and always active, i love boys especially the ones with blonde hair. i also love kai and ray from beyblade, awesome vid by the way. i have a question, i'm just turning 13 and learning all this stuff. i hate wearing bras, they chafe my nipples and they turn red, also i'm also new to the menstruation thing does it start happening soon. also tell me what kind of panties do you like wearing. i'm thinking of using thongs. hope you comment soon.
OMFG!!! does she not know how to PM?!?! seriously!!! tho i doubt its actually a 13 yr old girl, she sounds more like a 40 yr old pedo virgin desperate to lose his virginity one way or another. so if your reading this somehow you desperate loser: YOU CAN GO GET FUCKED BCOS I DONT CARE IF YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE OR NOT COS IM NEVER ALONE!!!
all i have to say to pedophiles these days is: BRING IT ON BABY!!! cos im NOT going to be afraid of badmouthing you guys anymore! i aint so 'helpless little female' anyway!!! iv been bitch slapped around by mum enough and learnt enough karate to know how to defend maself nowadays so SUCK SHIT!!!
What I have learnt: Don't take ANY shit from ANYBODY or it just gives them a right to bitch you around like a baby seal!!! Don't ask me where I got that quote from I just get really random when I'm pissed!
My mood put into more detail: Depressed...lonely...sad...confused...pissed off with everybody who makes a sound... ...that fucking mouse is going down.
WHATS GOING ON???
im pissed off with haz and i dont know why!!! *sigh* whats wrong with me???
*five minutes later*
tehehehehe (im the one named +R.I.P - Jessy+ etc)
+R.I.P - Jessy+ Mood: Depressed...lonely...sad...pissed off with everyone who makes a sound... says:
hi
SR-71 - Goodbye says:
hi
SR-71 - Goodbye says:
i thought u wer mad at me
+R.I.P - Jessy+ Mood: Depressed...lonely...sad...pissed off with everyone who makes a sound... says:
i am
SR-71 - Goodbye says:
owh
SR-71 - Goodbye says:
sorri
SR-71 - Goodbye says:
bt y?
+R.I.P - Jessy+ Mood: Depressed...lonely...sad...pissed off with everyone who makes a sound... says:
i dont know
+R.I.P - Jessy+ Mood: Depressed...lonely...sad...pissed off with everyone who makes a sound... says:
everything
SR-71 - Goodbye says:
sorri
+R.I.P - Jessy+ Mood: Depressed...lonely...sad...pissed off with everyone who makes a sound... says:
its fine
+R.I.P - Jessy+ Mood: Depressed...lonely...sad...pissed off with everyone who makes a sound... says:
its me
+R.I.P - Jessy+ Mood: Depressed...lonely...sad...pissed off with everyone who makes a sound... says:
im confused
SR-71 - Goodbye says:
y?
+R.I.P - Jessy+ Mood: Depressed...lonely...sad...pissed off with everyone who makes a sound... says:
i dont know y
SR-71 - Goodbye says:
abt me being a 20yr old ped?
+R.I.P - Jessy+ Mood: Depressed...lonely...sad...pissed off with everyone who makes a sound... says:
lol no
+R.I.P - Jessy+ Mood: Depressed...lonely...sad...pissed off with everyone who makes a sound... says:
how do u do tht?
SR-71 - Goodbye says:
wat?
+R.I.P - Jessy+ Mood: Depressed...lonely...sad...pissed off with everyone who makes a sound... says:
u made me smile just by sayin tht even tho im pissed with u
SR-71 - Goodbye says:
LOL.reli?mayb thats y i m ur boyfriend
+R.I.P - Jessy+ Mood: Depressed...lonely...sad...pissed off with everyone who makes a sound... says:
lol maybe..
SR-71 - Goodbye says:
u r still pissd wit me?
+R.I.P - Jessy+ Mood: Depressed...lonely...sad...pissed off with everyone who makes a sound... says:
not really..
SR-71 - Goodbye says:
phew!!i m relievd*hugz*
+R.I.P - Jessy+ Mood: Depressed...lonely...sad...pissed off with everyone who makes a sound... says:
lol *hugs*
JUST so yallz kno he is NOT a 20 yr old pedophile, he just said that bcos i suspected him of being a pedophile because of the age mentioned in an invite to something...i confronted him about it too...-.-; and i asked him about adding this convo piece to this post so yeh^^
What I have learnt: If ur confused about your boyfriend, don't ignore him.
*sigh* im off for now people...iv resolved my problems for now. later evrybudy : )
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demonicassassin's journal
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